29 Ways to Handle Stress

Jam 39 tiny marshmallows up your nose and try to sneeze them out. Use your Mastercard to pay your Visa. Pop some popcorn without putting the lid on. When someone says, "Have a nice day", tell them you have other plans. Find out what a frog in a blender really looks like. Make a list of things to do that you have already done. Forget the diet center and send yourself a candygram. Dance naked in front of your pets. Put your toddler's clothes on him/her backwards and send them to pre-school as if nothing were wrong. Retaliate for tax woes by filling out your tax form with Roman Numerals. Tattoo "Out to Lunch" on your forehead. Tape pictures of your boss on watermelons and launch them from high places. Leaf through National Geographic and draw underwear on the natives. Go shopping, buy everything, sweat in it, return it the next day. Buy a subscription to Sleaze Weekly and send it to your boss's wife. Pay your electric bill in pennies. Drive to work in reverse. Relax by mentally reflecting on your favorite episode of "The Simpsons" during an important finance meeting. Sit naked on a shelled, hard-boiled egg. Refresh yourself, put your tongue on a cold steel guardrail. Tell your boss to blow it out his mule and let him figure it out. Polish your car with earwax. Read the dictionary upside down and look for secret messages. Start a nasty rumor and see if you recognize it when it comes back to you. Bill your doctor for the time you spent in his waiting room. Braid your nostril hairs. Write a short story, using alphabet soup. Lie on your back, eating celery, using your navel as a salt dipper. Stare at people through the tines of a fork and pretend they are in jail.

Rating

G

New Random Joke