Farmer Dick

A farmer named Farmer Dick was out hunting one day, when all of a sudden, his gun misfired, and the shot hit him right in the arm. Farmer Dick dropped his gun, and cradled the arm in his other arm. The shot arm was hanging on by a string. He made his way back to the house, and had his wife drive him in to the country doctor. He went to the doctor, and laid the arm gently down on the table. He looks the doc in the eyes, and says, "Okay, doc, I don't want any of that sleepin' stuff, and no Novacain, or pain killers. You just start sewin' on this arm best way you know how!" Well, the doc starts stitching away. Even the doctor is wincing at every stitch. Finally, the doc can't take it anymore. He looks up at Farmer Dick, and says, "Man, don't this hurt a lot?" Farmer Dick says, "Yep, third worst pain I ever had in my life." The doc jumps back. "Third worst pain you ever had in your life?! Here, you done near shot your arm off, and I'm here, stitchin' it up with no pain killers, or sleepin' stuff, and you're tellin' me this is only the third worst pain you ever had in your life? I know there can't be anything much worse than this!" Farmer Dick says, "Oh, yeah, doc...try this one on for size. I was out a-huntin' one day, and I had to take me a mean dump. So I found me a clump of bushes, dropped my drawers, and backed up into them thar bushes when a bear trap snapped shut on my nuts!" Doc says, "Oh my God! You had a bear trap snap shut on your nuts, and you're tellin' me that only the second worst pain you ever had in your life?! Now I KNOWS there cain't be nuthin' worse than that!" Farmer says, "Oh, yeah, doc, well you just try it when the slack in the chain runs out!"

Rating

PG

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