The Four Commanders

Webmaster: Here is one of my all-time favorite jokes: The top four officers in the U.S. Military were all together talking about their services and debating whose was the best. The general consensus was that the servicemember who showed the most balls, the most courage, would represent the best service. The General of the Army shouted at a passing soldier, "Private! Get over here!" The soldier ran over, snapped to attention and saluted, "Yes, Sir!" The General looked him straight in the eye and said, "I want you to climb that flagpole over there, and jump off." The soldier saluted smartly, then ran off, climbed the flagpole, and did a half-gainer onto the concrete, breaking his right arm. A few minutes later two medics drove up, put him on a stretcher, and took him away. The General looked back at his companions and said, "Now that, takes balls!" The Admiral of the Navy (Okay, I lied, three Generals and an Admiral - sheesh!) said, "General, that ain't s**t!" The Admiral shouted at a passing sailor, "Seaman! Get over here!" The sailor ran over, snapped to attention and made that motion which, to the untrained eye, looks like bringing your hand to your eyebrow then turning into a wave at a passing mate, but is known only to the Navy as a salute, and barked, "Yes, Sir!" The Admiral looked him straight in the eye and said, "I want you to climb to the top of that ship's main tower, and jump off." The soldier made the same quasi-salute/hand wave, then ran off, ran up the gangplank and reappeared on the catwalk a few moments. In three minutes, he reached the top of the ship's tower, and did an elegant swan-dive into the water, breaking both his legs. A few minutes later two corpsmen came by in a dinghy, gathered him up, and took him away. The Admiral looked back at his companions and said, "Now that, takes balls!" The General of the Air Force said, "Admiral, that ain't s**t!" The General shouted at a passing airman, "Umm, HEY YOU! Get over here!" The airman walked over casually, hands in his pockets, looking around as he walked, and finally reached the General: "Whatchuwant?" The Admiral looked him straight in the eye and said while pointing, "I want you to get on that plane there, have them take you to five hundred feet, and jump out without a chute." His hands still in his pockets, the airman shrugged, mumbled acknowledgement, then strolled over to the plane. Several minutes later, the plane taxied to the runway, took off, and reappeared overhead soon thereafter. The four officers could see a form throw itself from the plane, which rapidly gained the shape and size of the airman, mere moments before it became a rather large red spot on the tarmac nearby. A few minutes later two Air Force medics appeared in a jeep, got out, looked at the red spot, then shrugged to each other, got back in the jeep, and drove away. The General looked back at his companions and said, "Now that, takes balls!" The Commandant of the Marine Corps said, "Boys, that ain't s**t!" The Commandant then shouted at a passing Marine, "MARINE! Get over here!" The Marine ran over, snapped to attention and saluted, "Yes, Sir!" The Commandant looked him straight in the eye and said, "I want you to climb that flagpole over there, and jump off." The Marine looked at the flagpole, looked at the Commandant, looked at the flagpole again, then looked at the Commandant again and said, "F*** you, Sir!" With a big grin, the Commandant looked back at his companions and said, "NOW THAT, takes balls!"

Rating

PG

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